She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
