He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
