Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
