So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
