There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize