My room smells like vodka and shame
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
