TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize