It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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