I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
