I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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