She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
