I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
