So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
