How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
organizing the empties. That sober.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
