i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
