just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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