I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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