Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
