so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
