I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
