I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
