were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
