So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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