i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
