well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
honey bunches of taint.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
