Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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