Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
