Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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