**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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