Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I did not marry a roomba.
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