its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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