You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
