so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
