Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
