we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
