i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I would ride that face into the sunset
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
