Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize