ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
