sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
