Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
being pregnant is like rehab
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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