well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
