Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
