I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
