did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
