every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize