i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
