Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
