I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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