I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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