Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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