We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
