so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
