i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
