i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize