CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I love having hate sex.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
