I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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