Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
