Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
