Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
