So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
