Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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