We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize