Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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