ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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