Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
