Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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